Holiday Inn Hotels...Retire There!

No nursing home for me! I'm checking into the Holiday Inn Hotels.

With the averagecost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better wayfor you when you get old and weak. I have already checked onreservations at the Holiday Inn Hotels and the following are someinteresting facts.

For a combinedlong-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night.That leaves you with $188-$49.23 = $138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant you want with room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies.

Plus, a swimmingpool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most rooms havefree toothpaste and razors, free shampoo and soap. Most importantly,they will treat you like a customer, not a patient.

$5 worth of tips aday will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a citybus stop out front, and seniors ride free!

The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp);) To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change ofscenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nicerestaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months toget into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn Hotels will take yourreservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you canmove from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii?They have Holiday Inn Hotels there too.

TV broken? Lightbulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fixeverything and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a nightsecurity person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK.

If not, they willcall the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip,Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn Hotels will upgrade youto a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits fromfamily. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in fora few days mini-vacation.

The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for? So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. :)

Upon telling thisstory at a dinner with friends and too much red wine, we came up witheven more benefits the Holiday Inn Hotels provide to retirees:

Most standard roomshave coffeemakers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV - all you need toenjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check onyour children (free local phone calls), then take a stroll to thelounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day.

Many Holiday InnHotels even feature live entertainment on the weekends. Often they havespecial offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program. You can inviteyour grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you.

Just tell them not to bring more thanthree friends. Pick any Holiday Inn Hotels where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well.

If you want totravel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings, in anyHoliday Inn Hotels you will always feel at home because wherever yougo, the rooms all look the same.

And if you aregetting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have toworry about not finding your room-your electronic key fits only onedoor and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.

I called the HolidayInn Hotels to check it out - and are happy to report that they werepositively giddy at the idea of someone checking in for a year or more.

They even offered to negotiate the rate (you can easily knocked them down to $40 a night!).